i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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