btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
