Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
