He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
