If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
