Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
