i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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