actually, I'm a sock model
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
