Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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