this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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