Please, let me fuck your mom
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
BRING THE BAGELS
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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