I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
