once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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