My first STD was from a foam party
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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