corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
