Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
