It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
