Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
