we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
