yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
