This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He better not be in your backpack
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
