Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
