whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
