It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
How's work?
Spinning.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
