the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
