I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I have fence marks all over my body
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
