Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
