I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize