and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
