youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
