Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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