you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
