JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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