Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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