so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
