I wannas sexs uuuuu
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
