So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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