I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
