So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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