Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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