do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
