I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
