dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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