Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How external is "for external use only"?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
