I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize