I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
