the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
