I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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