I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
