She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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