I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
