I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize