I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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