ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
