New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize