Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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