Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
