I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
