So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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