Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
