I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
