I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my sisters under your porch take her home
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
