9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
