I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
